Discernment Counseling for Couples on the Brink

If you or your spouse are considering divorce but are not completely sure that’s the best path, you are in a tough spot. And Discernment Counseling is designed for you. It’s a chance to slowdown, take a breath, and look at your options for your marriage.

Traditional couples therapy doesn’t work when one partner is leaning out and the other is leaning in. Discernment Counseling is a new way of helping couples where one person is “leaning out” of the relationship—and not sure that regular marriage counseling would help--and the other is "leaning in”—that is, interested in rebuilding the marriage.

The goal is not to solve your marital problems but to see if they are solvable. You will each be treated with compassion and respect no matter how you are feeling about your marriage at the moment. You are not here to be judged or to take sides.

Through this process, I will help you decide whether to try to restore your marriage to health, move toward divorce, or take a time out and decide later.

I respect your reasons for divorce while trying to open up the possibility of restoring the marriage to health.

I emphasize the importance of each of you seeing your own contributions to the problems and the possible solutions. This will be useful in future relationships even if this one ends.

Reach out to Schedule a Consultation

    • Couples where one partner is considering divorce or leaving the relationship (leaning out) and the other is wanting to stay in the relationship (leaning in).

    • Couples who want to take a closer look at their relationship before making a lasting decision

    • Couples who both want to divorce

    • Where one person is coerced into attending sessions

    • Where there is abuse or relational violence

  • Short term - no more than 5 structured sessions; at the end of each session, you decide if you want to schedule another session.

    Exploring the three options for the relationship’s future:

    1. continue with status quo

    2. divorce/split up

    3. commit to at least 6 months of couples therapy in an attempt to save the relationship

    You will come in as a couple but the most important work occurs in the one-to-one conversations with me. Why? Because you are starting out in different places.

    • Long-term therapy to build communication tools or resolve individual or relationship issues

    • Problem-solving for your marital issues

    • Regular marriage counseling

    • A push toward staying or leaving

    • A place to assign blame or take sides

    • $400 for initial 2-hour intake session

    • $270 for subsequent 90-minute sessions

    Deciding the future of your marriage is one of the most significant choices you’ll make. This work is an investment in clarity and confidence, so that whatever you decide, you can move forward knowing you gave it your full attention.

The goal of Discernment Counseling is to help you gain clarity and confidence about the direction of your marriage, based on a deeper understanding of what's happened to the marriage and each partner’s contributions to the problems.

Location

I offer in-person sessions in Seattle’s Georgetown neighborhood, and telehealth sessions to folks in Washington state. Per Washington state law, clients must physically be in the state during telehealth sessions.